A Book of My Life

A Book of My Life

SHANU

My eyes closed, my hands shaking
My heart blazing like the sunset
My mind soaring above the clouds
As I get this idea for a new book
A book of my life
A book so long, so much to say in it,
Such strong feelings to put into words
That there aren't enough words
To substitute for those feelings
For this is the big book of my life that I plan to write

This hundreds-of-chapters-long book
Has pages leading not anywhere
A story of me and you out of nowhere,
Without a beginning and with no end
For it is the book of my life that I plan to write


This book that reveals the real me
That tells only the truth
Of my life, of my time, of us as one
That doesn't include anyone but me and you
Its chapters are full of laughter from within our hearts
All that laughter we share
And smiles from our lips
And tears shed from our eyes
And those obstacles we overcame and made it this far
And it has chapters glimmering with the word "love"
Which I accepted only from you
Which I offered only to you

There are chapters full of all the dreams we share
And so many things that need to be done as one
And such strong thoughts and ideas
All whirling in my mind
Like several fish in a small tank
The combination of all these things
Just so many... in a teeny, tiny, little space
This book comes in letters
But time comes in numbers


It has chapters full of words spoken at wrong moments
Times I spoke when I should've kept quiet
And times I remained silent
When I should've spoken my mind
It's full of regrets and pain sweet as honey
And those constant little mistakes
That I made so many times
Some, people learned from
Others, I was never forgiven for

This book of my life that I'm going to write
With the help of this paper and pen
And the rain dripping outside
Those little drops drumming on my windows
I'll write it with assistance from the sun,
The sun that keeps playing hide-and-seek with the rain
And those tall trees won't mind lending a branch for support
Those tall trees that stand even taller
To hear my whispers to the clouds
And those twinkling stars that always lead our way at night
They'll all help me write this big book of my life

But you see, I need no help
To write this big book of my life
Because the only thing I need is unlimited time
But time is just too precious to let us abuse it
Not giving us even one-eighteenth of a second more

So I change my mind about writing that book of my life
Just for the lack of time
And I'll let all these hidden feelings
And dreams and thoughts stay inside
And not let them come out
Until unlimited time arrives


[with kind permission of sister Shanu]