Saturday, June 28, 2008

I DREAM TO BE



Sister Maryam
CANADA





A page in the book of history
An eagle soaring high and free.
A squirrel leaping from tree to tree
The dolphin swimming the azure sea.

I yearn to know -

The glow of love within my soul
Companionship as I grow old.
The warmth of friends banishing the cold
The meaning of life without being told.

I ache to find -

Tranquility within my mind
An oasis of calm in the desert of life.
An island of hope in the ocean of time
And a way to Mekkah before I die.

I long to see -

People freed from fear and savagery
Creatures saved from lives of misery.
The light of Allah coming for me
As I enter a realm of complete liberty.

All these things I dream to be...

Arranged Marriages vs Love Marriages in Islam

Sister Maryam
CANADA


I was talking to some online sisters the other day, the topic of marriage came up. Specifically the difficulty for reverts to find partners. Some muslimahs are the only followers of Islam in their family. Some are isolated, living in a non muslim community, no access to islamic centers etc.




Arranged marriages versus love marriages was discussed. Although a pragmatic marriage, otherwise known as an arranged marriage, does not give much control over the selection of one’s future spouse, both parties do, in fact, consent to the union. In some cultures, families choose one another based on a mutual interest in property, land or the aim of securing social status. In this way, the arranged marriage can be considered a business merger or even an alliance between two families.

Relying on family to select a potential spouse can be considered an advantage as they have years of wisdom and experience. The family wants to provide their children with protection, security and happiness. However, does this system guarantee their children a happily-ever-after? It is a fact that women remain in abusive relationships to maintain their family pride and respect.

Love marriages are ideally based on friendship, respect, familiarity and understanding, unlike arranged marriages in which you marry a stranger with whom you have no history or bond with. In the beginning of every dynamic relationship, there is the “getting-to-know-you” phase where people feel out their boundaries and discover the other’s pet peeves, quirks, and overall personality. Although love alone does not keep the ship afloat, it gives way to wanting to learn more about the significant other and wanting to invest in a relationship during the inevitable trials and tribulations. However, the time and privacy that is necessary for two people to learn more about one another is not afforded in certain cultures. Islam does not permit the intimacy of meeting without a chaperon .Thus in Islam, males and females are allowed to socialize and interact with one another as long as they do not deviate from taqwa (piety and fear of Allah) which guides every action and relation in Islam, be it among Muslims or between Muslims and non-Muslims. Taqwa is the yardstick for us to explain the difference between an Islamic relationship and a non-Islamic one, and it serves as the basis for the choice of a partner in Islam.

Since it is illogical for two people to be thrown together without knowing anything about each other and be expected to successfully relate and intimate, Islam recommends that the suitors see each other before going through with marriage; not only that, they are also allowed to look at each other to be sure of what attracts them to each other.



But the point here is that with taqwa the above-mentioned ruling is not absolute, thus making an Islamic relationship different from a non-Islamic one. Allowing the couple to see each other is by no means a call towards establishing a free-style courtship whereby the couple spend time together privately and get to know each other in a very deep way that leads to pre-marital affairs and illicit sexual intercourse, which we all know the consequence of. Even the act of looking at each other should not be a lustful one, for the basic rule that governs the male-female interaction and intermingling in Islam is "lowering the gaze," another demonstration of taqwa.

Though love is something nice, and it is recommended for a man to marry a woman whom he loves, because the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said: “There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.” (Sahih Al-Jami`, 5200) However, this love should not be overwhelming and cause a person to forget other characteristics which he should look for in the person he wants to marry. The most important characteristic is religious commitment. The Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, says: “A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her commitment to religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]!” (Agreed-upon Hadith).




In my opinion, a successful unity between two people requires willingness, compromise, love and dedication. These aspects can be found in either type of marriage.

Today I ran across this article on the net , a few years old but very current topic,so I am pasting the link to share it with you. I would like your opinion regarding arranged marriages versus love marriages.




http://nytimes.com/2006/03/07/nyregion/07imam.html?pagewanted=1

Monday, June 23, 2008

He is denying the torment of the grave on the grounds

He is denying the torment of the grave on the grounds that if he were to open a grave he would not see any change
How should we respond to one who denies the torment of the grave on the grounds that if he were to open a grave he would not see any change or notice that it has been made constricted or widened?.


Praise be to Allaah.

Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: One who denies the torment of the grave on the grounds that if he were to open a grave he would not see any change may be answered on several points, including the following:

Firstly:

The torment of the grave is proven according to sharee’ah. Allaah says concerning the people of Pharaoh (interpretation of the meaning):

“The Fire, they are exposed to it, morning and afternoon. And on the Day when the Hour will be established (it will be said to the angels): ‘Cause Fir‘awn’s (Pharaoh) people to enter the severest torment!’”
[Ghaafir 40:46]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Were it not that you would not bury one another, I would have asked Allaah to make you hear the torment of the grave that I can hear.” Then he turned to us and said: “Seek refuge with Allaah from the torment of the Fire,” and they said, “We seek refuge with Allaah from the torment of the Fire.” He said, “Seek refuge with Allaah from the torment of the grave,” and they said, “We seek refuge with Allaah from the torment of the grave.” Narrated by Muslim, 2867.

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said concerning the believer: “His grave will be made spacious for him, as far as the eye can see.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1374; Muslim, 2870.

And there are other texts too.

So it is not permissible to object to or reject these texts because of our mistaken notions, rather we must believe them and submit.

Secondly:

The torment of the grave happens to the soul, and it is not something that has a physical effect. If it had a physical effect it would not be the matter of belief in the unseen and believing in it would not serve any purpose. But it is one of the matters of the unseen, and the way things are in al-Barzakh cannot be compared to the way things are in this world.

Thirdly:

Torment and blessing, and whether the grave is widened or constricted, are matters that the deceased feels but others do not. A man may see in his dream, whilst he is lying on his bed, that he is standing and coming and going, hitting or being hit. He may see himself in a confined and frightening place, or in a spacious and pleasant place, but those around him cannot see or feel that.

What we are obliged to do regarding such matters is to say “We hear and obey, and we believe and affirm.”



Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him), 2/29.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Intimate Relations: What is allowed & What is not?

Intimate Relations: What is allowed & what is not?



Question: I need to have a detailed fatwa concerning Islam's guidance on sexual relations, i.e. what is prohibited and what is allowed? I need to know everything because there are many contradicting views in this special aspect of life. Thank you.



Name of Mufti Sheikh Muhammad Saleh Al-Munajjid



Content of Reply In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.



Dear questioner, thank you for your question and the confidence you place in our service and we pray to Allah to enable us to render this service purely for His Sake.



Islam cares for every aspect of a Muslim's life and gives him clear guidance regarding all things that will affect this life and the next. Imam Muslim reported that some Jews came to Salman Al-Farisi and said to him: "Your Prophet taught you everything even the etiquette of answering the call of nature." And he said: "Yes, he did." In the field of sexual relations, Islam provides complete guidelines prohibiting some practices and allowing others. The purpose of this is to secure the greatest level of happiness and purity in this very important part of life.



The prominent Muslim scholar Sheikh Muhammad Saleh Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim scholar and lecturer, gives a clear account of Islam's guidance in this field:



"Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam correlates it with a righteous intention, supplications and proper conduct which elevate it to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explains this. Imam Ibn Al-Qayyem (may Allah have mercy on him) wrote in his book, At-Tibb An-Nabawi (Medicine of the Prophet):



“Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and fulfillment , and it may fulfill the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes:



1. The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allah has decreed should be created in this world.



2. Expulsion of semen which may cause harm to the body if it is retained.



3. Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying sexual pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no bearing of offspring there, and no retention of that which needs to be relieved by ejaculation. The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health.



Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, enables self-control, enables one to keep away from prohibited things, and all this is also achieved for the woman. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and also benefits the woman likewise. Hence, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, “In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me.” (Narrated by Ahmad and An-Nasa'i)."


And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim).



Important Things to Be Considered When Having Intimate Relations:



1. Having the sincere intention of doing this only for the sake of Allah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one's wife from doing forbidden things, and to increase the number of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honor and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even when the people involved obtain immediate pleasure and enjoyment. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “When any of you engages in sexual intercourse there is a reward” (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, "O Messenger of Allah, when any of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a unlawful manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a lawful manner, he will be rewarded.” (Muslim).



2. Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. Almighty Allah says: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how you will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah." (Al-Baqarah: 223) Most of the interpreters of the Qu’ran say that the phrase 'but do some good act for your souls beforehand' refers to the importance of foreplay in increasing interest and making the matter easier.



3. When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: “Bismillah, Allahumma janniba ash-shaytan wa jannib ash-shaytan ma razqtana (In the name of Allah. O Allah! Keep us away from Satan and keep Satan away from what You bestow on us (our children)).” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "If Allah decrees that they should have a child, Satan will never harm him.” (Al-Bukhari)



4. It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, i.e. from behind or from the front, but it is to be noted that it must be in her vagina, which is the place from which the child is born. Allah says: “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will.” (Al-Baqarah:223) Jabir ibn `Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint.” Then this verse was revealed: "Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” (Al-Baqarah: 223). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “From the front or from the back, as long as it is in the vagina.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).



5. It is not permissible for the husband, under any circumstances whatsoever, to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. It is known that the place of ‘tilth’ is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes a child will be born. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages.” Anal intercourse goes against the fitrah (natural inclinations of man) and is an action which is revolting to those having a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure. The back passage is a place of filth and there are other reasons, which confirm the fact that this deed is forbidden.



6. If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to repeat the act with her a second time, he should perform ablution, because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him perform ablution between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time.” (Muslim). This is recommended, but not obligatory. If he is able to have ghusl (complete purifactory bath) between the two acts, this would be better, because of the hadith of Abu Rafi` who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this one’s house and in that one’s house. He (Abu Rafi`) said: I said to him: "O Messenger of Allah, why do you not do one ghusl?" He said, “This is cleaner and better and purer.” (Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i)



7. It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely recommended for him to perform ablution before sleeping, because of the hadith of `Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), Can any of us sleep when he is junub (in a state of sexual impurity)? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Yes, but let him perform ablution if he wishes.” (Ibn Hibban).



8. It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allah says: “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is a harm, therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in the vagina). Truly, Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.).” (Al-Baqarah: 222). However, it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadeeth of `A'ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) who said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her.” (Agreed upon)



9. It is permissible for the husband to practice `azl (withdrawing the penis to ejaculate outside the vagina) if he does not want to have a child. By the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms, if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to have children. The evidence for this is the hadith of Jabir ibn `Abd-Allah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said, “We used to do `azl at the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim) It is better not to do that for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the amount of pleasure for her, and it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above.



10. It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life. Indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Among the most evil of people before Allah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets.” (Muslim)

It was reported from Asma' bint Yazid that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?” The people remained silent and did not answer. I [Asma’] said: “Yes, by Allah, O Messenger of Allah! They (women) do that, and they (men) do that.” He said “Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching.” (Abu Dawud).



Excerpted, with slight modification, from www.islam-qa.com

Also read:

Things that Necessitate Ghusl

Intercourse Twice without Ghusl

Islamic Ruling on Anal Sex

Allah Almighty knows best.

How did Christianity become mixed with polytheistic beliefs?

Item Description
The Title: How did Christianity become mixed with polytheistic beliefs?
Language: English
Date Added: Apr 02,2008
The Mufti : Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
From issues : http://www.islam-qa.com
Short Description: If true Christianity brought the message of the Oneness of God (Tawheed), and stated that He alone is to be worshipped to the exclusion of anyone else in His creation, whether that is ‘Eesa (Jesus) or anyone else, then how did this religion become mixed with polytheistic beliefs (shirk) and how did they take ‘Eesa (Jesus – peace be upon him) and his mother as gods besides Allaah?
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Question:

If true Christianity brought the message of the Oneness of God (Tawheed), and stated that He alone is to be worshipped to the exclusion of anyone else in His creation, whether that is ‘Eesa (Jesus) or anyone else, then how did this religion become mixed with polytheistic beliefs (shirk) and how did they take ‘Eesa (Jesus – peace be upon him) and his mother as gods besides Allaah?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

There can be no doubt that the call to believe in Allaah alone (Tawheed) and to worship Him alone to the exclusion of anyone else, is the basic message that was brought by the Prophet of Allaah ‘Eesa (peace be upon him), as it was the basic message brought by all the Prophets. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And verily, We have sent among every Ummah (community, nation) a Messenger (proclaiming): ‘Worship Allaah (Alone), and avoid (or keep away from) Taghoot (all false deities, i.e. do not worship Taghoot besides Allaah).’ Then of them were some whom Allaah guided and of them were some upon whom the straying was justified. So travel through the land and see what was the end of those who denied (the truth)” [al-Nahl 16:36]

“And We did not send any Messenger before you (O Muhammad) but We revealed to him (saying): Laa ilaaha illa Ana [none has the right to be worshipped but I (Allaah)], so worship Me (Alone and none else)” [al-Anbiya’ 21:25]

‘Eesa will bear witness to this call against his people, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And (remember) when Allaah will say (on the Day of Resurrection): 'O ‘Eesa (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary)! Did you say unto men: “Worship me and my mother as two gods besides Allaah?”’ He will say: ‘Glory be to You! It was not for me to say what I had no right (to say). Had I said such a thing, You would surely have known it. You know what is in my inner‑self though I do not know what is in Yours; truly, You, only You, are the All‑Knower of all that is hidden (and unseen).

117. ‘Never did I say to them aught except what You (Allaah) did command me to say: “Worship Allaah, my Lord and your Lord.” And I was a witness over them while I dwelt amongst them, but when You took me up, You were the Watcher over them; and You are a Witness to all things’” [al-Maa'idah 5:117]

With regard to how the followers of this religion deviated after that from pure Tawheed to idolatrous beliefs and the worship of Jesus and his mother besides God, this is something which happened early on in Christian history. We will quote here some evidence to that effect from their own people’s words. Let whoever has ears listen.

It says in the American Encyclopedia:

The belief in the Oneness of God – as a theological movement – began at a very early stage in history, and in fact it preceded the belief in trinity by many decades. Christianity developed from Judaism, and Judaism firmly believes that there is one God.

The path that led from Jerusalem (the home of the first disciples of Christ) to Nicea (where it was decided in 325 CE that Christ was equal to God in essence and eternal nature) can hardly be described as a straight path.

The doctrine of trinity which was affirmed in the fourth century CE bears no resemblance to the original teachings of Christ concerning the nature of God. Au contraire, it is the opposite, a deviation from that teaching. Hence it developed in opposition to the belief in One God… (27/294).

You can refer to the views of some of those Christians who still believe in the Oneness of God in the same American Encyclopedia, 27/300-301

Will Durant says: When Christianity conquered Rome, the new religion (i.e., Christianity) was infused with the blood of the old idolatrous religion: the title of archbishop, worship for the great mother, and an innumerable number of lords who gave peace of mind and were like who exist in all places and cannot be detected with the senses. All of this came into Christianity as the blood of the mother comes into her child.

The civilized empire handed over power and administration to the papacy and the impact of the word replaced the impact of the sword. The preachers of the church started to assume positions of power.

Christianity did not put an end to idolatry, rather it reinforced it. The Greek mind came back to life in a new form, in the doctrines and rituals of the church. The Greek rituals appeared in the rituals of the monastic saints. From Egypt came the idea of the holy trinity, the day of reckoning, eternal reward and punishment, and man’s eternal life in one of the other. From Egypt also came the worship of the mother and child, the mystical union with God, the union which led to Platonism and agnosticism, and the erasing of Christian doctrine. And from Persia came the belief in the return of the Messiah and his ruling the earth for 1000 years. Qissat al-Hadaarah, 11/418 (The Story of Civilization)

Despite the element of atheism in the words of Durant, which is something that he is known for, and which is apparent in his claim that the idea of eternal reward or punishment came from the Egyptians, tracing the origins of deviant idolatry in Christianity is no longer a secret, and he is not the only one who has researched them. In his book Christianity and Idolatry, Robertson states that Mithraism, which is a religion of Persian origin, flourished in Persia approximately six centuries before the birth of Christ, and it reached Rome around the year 70 CE, where it spread throughout the Roman lands. Then it reached Britain and spread to a number of British cities. What concerns us here about this religion is that it says:

- That Mithras, after whom it is named, was an intermediary between God and man (for a similar doctrine in Christianity, see Acts 4:12).

- He was born in a cave or in a corner of the earth (cf. Luke 2:8)

- His birthday was December 25 (which is the day celebrated by the Christians as the day when Jesus was born)

- He had twelve disciples (cf. Matthew 10:1)

- He died to save the world (cf. I Corinthians 15:3)

- He was buried but he came back to life (cf. I Corinthians 15:4)

- He ascended to heaven in front of his disciples (cf. Acts 1:9)

- He was called “Saviour” (cf. Titus 2:13)

- Among his attributes is that he is like a peaceful lamb (cf. John 1:29)

- The “Divine supper” was held in his memory every year (cf. I Corinthians 11:23-25)

- One of his symbols was baptism

- Sunday was sacred to them

The French Orientalist Leon Joteh, in his book “An Introduction to Islamic philosophy” is of the view that the origin of the Christian trinity is to be found in Greek philosophy, specifically in the ideas of modern Platonism, which took the basis of the idea of trinity as a view of the Creator of the universe from Plato, then developed it to a great extent, so that the resemblance between this idea and Christianity became greater. So (in their view) the Creator, the One Who is absolutely perfect, appointed two intermediaries between him and mankind, who emanated from Him, and were also part of Him at the same time, meaning that they are contained in His essence. These two entities are reasoning and divine spirit. Then he said:

The marriage of Jewish belief and Greek philosophy did not only produce philosophy, rather it produced a religion too, namely Christianity which imbibed many ideas from the Greeks. The Christian concept of divinity is taken from the same source as modern Platonism. Hence you see many similarities between the two, although they may vary in some details. They are both based on a belief in trinity, in which the three “persons” are one.

This is what the American writer Draper refers to:

Idolatry and polytheism entered Christianity through the influence of the hypocrites who occupied positions of influence and high positions in the Roman state by pretending to be Christians, but they never cared about religion and were not sincere at all. Similarly Constantine had spent his life in darkness and evil, and he did not follow the commands of the church except for a short while at the end of his life. (p. 337)

Although the followers of Christianity gained some power, to the extent that they managed to have Constantine appointed as ruler, they failed to eradicate idolatry completely. As a result of their struggle, their principles became fused with idolatry, from which point there developed a new religion in which Christianity and idolatry were manifested equally.

Thus the Christians followed the same path of those disbelievers who had come before them, step by step, as their own Book testifies. And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And the Jews say: ‘Uzayr (Ezra) is the son of Allaah, and the Christians say: Messiah is the son of Allaah. That is their saying with their mouths, resembling the saying of those who disbelieved aforetime. Allaah’s Curse be on them, how they are deluded away from the truth!”[al-Tawbah 9:30]

And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Related Links
Answering Those Who Altered The Religion of Jesus Christ ( Links to the Subject: ) - ( English )
The Trinity Is Not A Biblical Belief ( Links to the Subject: ) - ( English )

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