A husband and wife blaming each other for some negligence in Ramadhaan

Fatwa Date : 06 Thoul Ki'dah 1430 / 25-10-2009

Question

Assalamu aleikum, In Ramadhan, a woman got up early to take care of the house and children. The whole day she was busy and every now and then she tried to take some time to read Quran, too. In the evening, she was so tired that she just wanted to sleep early and did not have the energy to pray much taraweeh. Her husband, however, slept the whole day, only waking up to pray and then going back to sleep. At night, he was wide awake so that he could pray and read Quran. They sort of accused each other for either not praying taraweeh or for not being active during the day. Could you please judge between them?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

Both spouses are rewarded for their acts of obedience to Allaah, Allaah willing; the husband for standing in prayer at night and the wife for taking care of her children – and both of them are also blamed for being negligent – the husband for sleeping all day long, and the wife for not praying Taraaweeh prayers.

There is no doubt that a woman who does her household work is fulfilling her responsibility that is put on her shoulders and she will be rewarded for it.  A wife is a guardian and she will be questioned about the people under her guardianship as confirmed in a Hadeeth. In addition to this, this act of worship is beneficial to many people and not only to the wife. Moreover, if she usually performs Taraaweeh prayers but she was not able to do so in some days due to extreme tiredness and exhaustion, then Allaah would reward her as if she has performed the prayer. ‘Aa’ishah narrated that the Prophet said: “There is no person who regularly performs the night prayer and he oversleeps or is sick except that he is rewarded for his prayer and his sleep is considered as a charity (an act of mercy) for him (from his Lord).” [An-Nasaa’i]

Therefore, it is not permissible for the husband of this wife to belittle her role and acts of worship and if she is somewhat negligent in performing the Taraaweeh prayer, then she should be advised in a soft and gentle manner and not by exchanging accusations. Indeed, the husband was also negligent in his fasting as he used to sleep all day long or most of the day as you mentioned in the question. Sleeping too long during the day of Ramadhaan is disliked as stated by the jurists .

To conclude, there is good in both of them, Allaah willing, and they should both avoid being negligent in the future if they were to live for long.

Allaah Knows best.

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